Pay Attention to the Little Things
By Iyanla Vanzant
Let’s be honest. Most of us, particularly us women, can handle the
big things in life. We can get the children clothed and fed, the bills
paid and, on our good days, even wash a dish or two. We can get along
with some of the most difficult people and survive very draining
situations. We can even bounce back from those disappointing
relationships and bad breakups without pulling out all of our hair.
Even though we don’t like it, we seem to have the big stuff covered.
big things in life. We can get the children clothed and fed, the bills
paid and, on our good days, even wash a dish or two. We can get along
with some of the most difficult people and survive very draining
situations. We can even bounce back from those disappointing
relationships and bad breakups without pulling out all of our hair.
Even though we don’t like it, we seem to have the big stuff covered.
What I have come to realize about myself and so many others is
that it’s the little things in life we tend to overlook. To be
specific, I am addressing those little principles and values that
nourish our spirit, nurture our hearts and keep the crazies from our
doorsteps. Four in particular, I call HIPS: Honor, Integrity, Passion
and Stillness. Many of us have convinced ourselves that HIPS can be too
big to handle.
that it’s the little things in life we tend to overlook. To be
specific, I am addressing those little principles and values that
nourish our spirit, nurture our hearts and keep the crazies from our
doorsteps. Four in particular, I call HIPS: Honor, Integrity, Passion
and Stillness. Many of us have convinced ourselves that HIPS can be too
big to handle.
In this instance, honor means honoring yourself by speaking what’s
on your heart, aka telling the truth about what you feel and know. It
means asking for what you need and letting others know what works and
what does not work for you. In the business of life, it is very easy to
forget that you are the only one who gets to say what goes on in your
life.
Integrity refers to keeping a vigilant watch on yourself to ensure
that what you think, feel, say and do are in alignment. It means
standing up within yourself, for yourself and not abandoning yourself
to make or keep other people happy.
that what you think, feel, say and do are in alignment. It means
standing up within yourself, for yourself and not abandoning yourself
to make or keep other people happy.
Passion here does not refer to sensuality, sexuality or plain old
lust. It is about having that one thing in your life that you do just
for the joy of it. You don’t have to be good at it. You may never get
paid for it. The only requirement is that it makes you feel good. It
puts a light in your eyes.
lust. It is about having that one thing in your life that you do just
for the joy of it. You don’t have to be good at it. You may never get
paid for it. The only requirement is that it makes you feel good. It
puts a light in your eyes.
Then, there’s stillness–the ability to sit down and do nothing,
without feeling guilty. It is a time to empty your heart, mind and
spirit. It means giving yourself permission to listen within, to refuel
and to love on you.
without feeling guilty. It is a time to empty your heart, mind and
spirit. It means giving yourself permission to listen within, to refuel
and to love on you.
Too often, the temptation is to rush around making sure that the
big stuff gets handled and that everyone else is taken care of. In the
process, our HIPS can become disjointed. Perhaps it is time to consider
doing some HIPS-building exercises.
big stuff gets handled and that everyone else is taken care of. In the
process, our HIPS can become disjointed. Perhaps it is time to consider
doing some HIPS-building exercises.
- Promise yourself that you will not go to bed without a bubble bath at least three days a week. It honors your body.
- Don’t spend more than you have, and refuse to wear shoes that
hurt your feet–no matter how good they look. You cannot be in integrity
when your feet hurt! - Take a day just for you. Do something that makes you smile and
laugh, and then take a nap. When you wake up, if you listen deeply, I
promise, you will hear your heart sing. - Finally, make a promise to life that this year you will pay close
attention to the people, situations and circumstances that do not sit
well on your HIPS.
Acclaimed author and motivational speaker Iyanla Vanzant is
founder and director of Inner Visions Institute of Spiritual
Development.
founder and director of Inner Visions Institute of Spiritual
Development.
